


Not Expecting This

by mogwai_do



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Episode: s05e11 The Lodger, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-01-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 06:36:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mogwai_do/pseuds/mogwai_do
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Craig:</b> Listen, Mike and I had an arrangement where if you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout. [winks] Okay?</p>
<p><b>The Doctor: </b>[winks back] Why would I want that?</p>
<p><b>Craig:</b> Well, in case you want to bring someone round, a girlfriend or a... [looks at the Doctor up and down] boyfriend...</p>
<p><b>The Doctor:</b> Oh, I will. I'll shout... if that happens. Something like... I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Expecting This

Craig answered the door with a sigh; this would make it three Jehovah’s Witnesses in as many days. He stopped abruptly though as he saw not the smiling, slightly worried faces of people who know they’re fighting a losing battle, but was instead met with a smile that made his skin crawl for no discernible reason. He stepped back, “Can I help you?” he asked cautiously.

The man wore a smart, and probably very expensive, black suit, tie knotted just so; he would have looked just like that Prime Minister that went barmy a couple of years back except for his bleached blond hair. The man looked Craig up and down and then his gaze travelled past Craig into the house. “Yes, I’m looking for the Doctor. I understand he ‘lives’ here,” he explained in a voice that dripped disdain and faintly amused scorn.

Craig blinked, “The Doctor?” he repeated dumbly. The Doctor had only mentioned one friend, an Amy, who was apparently out of the country right now and which Craig was reasonably certain this wasn’t. On the other hand, the man did look rather official, or he thought, noticing the man’s black leather gloves, that kind of unofficial official that was even worse and remembering £3,000 in a paper bag, he wondered what on Earth the Doctor had got himself into.

“He’s err… in his room I think,” Craig replied hesitantly.

Without so much as a by your leave the man brushed past Craig and into the house, pausing for a moment in the hall to sniff. Craig scowled, he’d cleaned and vacuumed just the other day for Sophie coming over, the house wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t that bad.

Without saying a word the man walked straight into the flat, sniffing suspiciously and Craig followed muttering. This was really just rude and maybe he should ask for some ID come to think of it, but the guy wasn’t big, so Craig was reasonably sure he could get him out of the flat if he had to. The man turned then, fixing Craig with a stare that was just a little too intent for comfort and Craig found himself taking an involuntary step backwards.

The man stepped up to the Doctor’s door, hand already reaching for the doorknob, and Craig knew the Doctor liked his privacy. “Doctor,” he shouted quickly, “Visitor!” The look he got for that made him want to step back again, but the door was behind him now and besides, Mr. Expensive Suit annoyed him more than the Doctor ever had.

The door jerked open with familiar abruptness as the Doctor stuck his head out and suddenly stopped short, seeing the other man. “I was not expecting this!” the Doctor shouted in a curiously flat mix of pantomime and genuine surprise.

Craig blinked, dumbfounded if he was honest, as the suited man gave him a smirk then put one leather-gloved hand on the Doctor’s chest and pushed him back inside the room, following him in and closing the door behind them with an audible click.

Craig stood in the hall, staring at the door for several long minutes before grabbing his wallet, phone and keys and heading for Sophie’s. They had an arrangement, he and the Doctor, and the Doctor had given the signal, and really - he just didn’t want to know.

FIN


End file.
